First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
