so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
