Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize