i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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