false alarm. still invincible.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
