He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
