Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
