never play flip cup with pint glasses
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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