I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
