Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
