im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
