i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
