If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
