I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
