I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
