Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
