Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
