if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
