Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
