She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize