batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
