"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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