It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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