Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
