we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
