Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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