Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
