We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
