i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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