My balls are so social today.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you had me at cake vodka
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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