yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
