If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
