I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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