Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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