I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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