Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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