I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
