I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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