and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize