she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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