wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize