you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
