I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
