He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
