I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
