i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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