Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
