i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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