Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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