I just made out with a guy for $7.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
