If i come over, it means nothing
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
