so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my shit smells like andre
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
