my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
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