you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
