It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
