I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My feet surprised me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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