We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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