Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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