I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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