PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize