She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
