So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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