I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
